chinese new year 2015

Chinese New Year is today.
The year of the wood sheep.
Our daughter's first Chinese New Year with our family.

Before we brought little sister home, I had grand plans of having a
Chinese New Year party every year.
It didn't happen this year.

Joe was gone out of town for work.
The second week in a row.
Lord, help me.
I was home with all five kids just trying to survive the week.

The day before the new year, I was bombarded with momma guilt.
Pictures of friends posting their little ones in their Chinese silks,
pictures of families making dumplings, pictures of Chinese New Year celebrations
were all over my facebook page and instagram account.
I begin finding myself with those horrible dark thoughts of not doing enough, not being enough.
I stepped away from social media for awhile.
I prayed, and battled with Satan to take a step back.

I didn't have the pantry stocked with noodles, or oranges, or chicken, etc.
I forgot to put it on the grocery list.
I was NOT going to take 5 kids to the store.
Don't get me wrong. I've taken them all out on my own several times.
More times than I can count on my fingers and toes combined.
I just was not prepared to take them all to the store that day.
Let me tell ya'~you have to gear yourself up for an adventure like that. :)

So, I decided that night we may not be celebrating with a big meal of Chinese cuisine,
but we can do some crafts.

We didn't end up doing crafts either. :)

We stayed home.
We celebrated and rejoiced that little sister had finally mastered the sign for "more".
Hallelujah!
We had a dinner of homemade biscuits and gravy, and sausage patties.
Joci wore her Chinese dress all day.
Sophie was in pajamas most of the day then wore her dress for some late night pictures.

I was snapping away not realizing I didn't have the memory card
in the camera when I took the pictures.
But it's okay. I may not post a picture this evening,
but when I find my usb cord I'll come back and upload a photo.

We didn't have a Chinese New Year party this year.
At the end of the day, it didn't matter.
Little sister is young enough that it doesn't matter to her.
The other kids were happy just to play with Legos, have a little break from school, and
play outside in the cold, windy weather.
Sophie was having a ball playing with an antique over-sized abacus
that I knew I was holding onto for some special reason.

Sometimes we need to be gentler on ourselves,
to not look at what we see is wrong,
but look at what is right in our lives.
To not see our mistakes or disappointments,
but to see our good.

To not see that I didn't prepare and plan a Chinese New Year party,
but to see that I made a favorite meal from scratch that the whole family enjoyed.
To not see that we didn't do special activities,
but to see that we enjoyed each other's company
(for most of the day-we did have a couple of fights, but not many).
To not see that I expect myself to be super-mom,
but to see that I am just me doing what I was meant to be and do.


Gong Xi Fa Cai
(Happy Chinese New Year)

~tonya




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